Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce Simply Couldn't Take The Heart-Pounding Drama Of Championship Hockey - Athlon Sports

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I see through liars

An unexpected Seahawks player appears in Madden 26 reveal trailer - Field Gulls

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is the best technique for inserting a tampon into one’s anus?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fakery

How can a hacker damage me, realistically?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Exclusive | Ken Moelis to Step Down as CEO of His Investment Bank - WSJ

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why are terrible, boring art pieces done by famous people worth so much while beautiful pieces done by amateurs are worthless?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can count

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Review: At $349, AMD’s 16GB Radeon RX 9060 XT is the new midrange GPU to beat - Ars Technica

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why do people smoke?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Trump gets back behind raids in immigration whiplash - Axios

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand how hurricane paths work

2 killed and 32 injured after a bridge collapses at a tourist destination in western India - NBC News

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

FDA Approves KEYTRUDA® (pembrolizumab) for PD-L1+ Resectable Locally Advanced Head & Neck Squamous Cell Carcinoma as Neoadjuvant Treatment, Continued as Adjuvant Treatment Combined With Radiotherapy With or Without Cisplatin Then as a - Merck.com

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Bitcoin update: From 80 bytes to 4MB – How BTC’s brain can get bigger - AMBCrypto

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can read

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP